My Momma Bear Moment

In the beginning of the school year Austin was forgetful. He would forget his homework assignments in the car or on his desk. Sometimes he would forget to bring home his math book and would have to call another student to get the information. He just wasn't really concerned about school. His grades always came easy for him. If you asked him what his favorite subject was, he would say "Recess!" His teachers have always loved him. They have always told me how "delightful" he was to have in class.

This year, we have had a different experience. His teacher just always seems so crusty and irritated. At first, it was a little hard for me to understand. I can be an objective parent, but Austin really is a good boy. He's not a trouble maker or the loud obnoxious kid in class. He has a quiet, charming sense of humor and always tries to do what is right. Really, I'm not just saying that because he's my son. He really is a great kid. Anyway, one day when he had forgotten something, she said, "Well that's no surprise now is it Austin?" right in front of the whole class. Austin was really embarrassed and it hurt his feelings. He had never had a teacher be rude to him. As he told me about it, his eyes teared up. "She just doesn't like me, Mom. She is always mean to me." I asked him more about it and he said he didn't want to talk about it. He asked me not to talk to her about it because she said "kids who have parents that complain have it a lot harder. That's what she told us."

It broke my heart to see him sad and honestly, I was really disappointed in his teacher. We worked with Austin to help him remember to put his homework back in his backpack the night before so it wouldn't get left at home. We also tried to improve his relationship with his teacher. We sent Christmas candy to her at Christmas time and sent friendly emails occasionally to check on Austin's progress. She always responded sounding short and less than friendly.

Austin has become so much more responsible and rarely needs to be reminded anymore. I still feel like she is really hard on him though. Any assignment that has a right or wrong answer, he gets excellent grades. If it is discretionary, the grades are not very good.

So, last Friday, I got a call from Austin's teacher. She sounded really upset. She said, " I just wanted you to know that Austin is just falling apart the last few weeks! He is forgetting everything and he isn't finishing his assignments!" Honestly, I was confused at first. "Really? Austin has been diligently doing his homework every night. I'm really surprised to hear that." I felt like he had really hit his stride. He had been so responsible lately. Just the night before he asked if we could buy some paint for a project they were doing in school. The other kids were using crayons and markers but, his teacher said the better it looked, the better the grade. He thought painting it would make it look more like a building. "Is he missing something?" I asked.

"Well, he just isn't finishing his assignments and I know you are just as disappointed in his grades as I am! Would you like to have a word with him?" she went on.

I'm not sure if it was the tone in her voice, or the fact that Austin was still able to pull off all A's and two B's in spite of her, that brought out the Momma Bear in me. I had bit my tongue for too long. "No, I wouldn't, but while I have you on the phone there is something I would like to talk to you about." I told her about the conversation I had had with Austin several months ago and that it brought him to tears thinking that his teacher didn't like him. "As a parent, it concerns me that my child spends most of his day with an adult who is rude and belittling and who makes him feel like he isn't liked. I'm not sure how he learns in an environment like that, but I am actually quite proud of Austin and his accomplishments this year."

She was really quite for a moment and she said she would talk to Austin about that. We hung up the phone, but I was still upset. I sat racking my brain trying to think of what Austin could have forgotten. I called Jason, like I always do when I am upset about something. He said he was glad I finally said something too her. Jason wasn't a fan of Austin's teacher either. I asked him if he had any idea what he could have forgotten. "Yeah, his spelling homework," he said. I told Jason that I saw Austin working on it. "The one where he had to write the coordinates for each letter of every word? I told him he didn't have to finish it. It was lame, busy work and it would have taken him forever." he said. "What!? Really, you did? Honey..."

When Austin came home from school, I asked him how his day was. "Fine," he said. I asked him if his teacher talked to him. His eyes lit up. "How did you know?" he asked. I told him we had talked on the phone earlier in the day. He gave me a hug and grinned. "Thanks, Mom." He said she apologized for being rude in front of the class and for hurting his feelings. She told him that she was glad he was in her class. I told him I was glad, but he had to finish his spelling homework.

We left to go camping evening, but I couldn't get it off my mind. I felt bad for my Momma Bear moment. I probably could have handled it better. I felt guilty for not being nicer about it. Then I started to worry because Austin's final grades hadn't come out yet. He really wants to play football in the fall and we told him he could only have one B and the rest had to be A's. When we got home, I was going through his backpack and found a note from his teacher. She said she had apologized to Austin and would give him class time to finish his assignment. Wow! I guess she was feeling bad too.